The bucket hat… a revolutionary head-mounted shading device. Engineered to prevent sun exposure to your eyes, scalp and occasionally your dignity.
Field research confirms the bucket hat endures during most casual activities, including but not limited to: walking, waiting for buses that never arrive, answering questions no one asked and applauding at the void.
© Neon Womb 2025
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• Fabric: 100% cotton twill (woven by mortals, approved by management).
• Crown height: 3 ¾″ (7.6 cm) - that’s nearly four inches of vertical real estate.
• Brim: 2 ¼″ (5.1 cm) of certified shade-casting technology.
• One size fits most (not a threat, just a fact.)
• Ventilation: Sewn eyelets. Breathe easy, friend.
*Every hat is manufactured ON DEMAND because warehouse full of the hats are a logistical nightmare and also deeply unflattering. By ordering, you confirm you are helping reduce overproduction and possibly saving the world (citation needed).
Legal:
Age restrictions: Adults only. Children attempting to commandeer this hat will be prosecuted by local playground authorities.
EU Warranty: 2 years, or until your bucket hat develops sentience, whichever comes first.
Compliance Information: Fully compliant with lead and phthalate requirements, because it’s a hat, not a science experiment.
Neon Womb thanks you for your service in the war against glare.
In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Oak inc. and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 123 Main Street, Anytown, Country or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.
The bucket hat… a revolutionary head-mounted shading device. Engineered to prevent sun exposure to your eyes, scalp and occasionally your dignity.
Field research confirms the bucket hat endures during most casual activities, including but not limited to: walking, waiting for buses that never arrive, answering questions no one asked and applauding at the void.
© Neon Womb 2025
———————
• Fabric: 100% cotton twill (woven by mortals, approved by management).
• Crown height: 3 ¾″ (7.6 cm) - that’s nearly four inches of vertical real estate.
• Brim: 2 ¼″ (5.1 cm) of certified shade-casting technology.
• One size fits most (not a threat, just a fact.)
• Ventilation: Sewn eyelets. Breathe easy, friend.
*Every hat is manufactured ON DEMAND because warehouse full of the hats are a logistical nightmare and also deeply unflattering. By ordering, you confirm you are helping reduce overproduction and possibly saving the world (citation needed).
Legal:
Age restrictions: Adults only. Children attempting to commandeer this hat will be prosecuted by local playground authorities.
EU Warranty: 2 years, or until your bucket hat develops sentience, whichever comes first.
Compliance Information: Fully compliant with lead and phthalate requirements, because it’s a hat, not a science experiment.
Neon Womb thanks you for your service in the war against glare.
In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Oak inc. and SINDEN VENTURES LIMITED ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at gpsr@sindenventures.com. You can also write to us at 123 Main Street, Anytown, Country or Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.
